Balancing Act..

I think one of the hardest thing as a mom is balancing everything. Sometimes we feel like a chicken running around with our heads cut-off. We were many "hats". We are definitely the cornerstone of the home. Somedays I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions. I usually end up being my last priority. Between taking care of the house and the kids I am sometimes too tired to take care of me. I know part of this lifestyle change will be finding the balance with everything.

Balancing time management...
I forced myself to step on the scale this morning and found I had lost another pound. Which is good but I know I could have done better. I was worried b/c I haven't been exercising everyday like I should be. It seems so hard to get to the gym lately. I tell myself excuses why I can't go instead of just going. To be perfectly honest, I have the time to go. Sean's has been home in time for me to go. I just can't seem to find the motivation to get up and go. Seems like everything else gets in the way of me going. It is too hot to walk outside during the middle of the day. I really just need to force myself into going!! I need to manage my time better.

Balancing what I eat...
I must confess...I haven't been eating the way I am supposed to. I haven't really had cravings but just want things I am not supposed to eat. I am "allowed" one cheat food a week. I find ways to justify what I want to eat at the time. Right now money is VERY tight for us. More so then it has ever been. Healthy food is more expensive so I justified buying the junk instead. I can't wait till my garden really starts going. We have alot of stuff budding but haven't had a whole lot yet. This will help save some money. I need to find a site that will help me make meals that are cheap but healthy. If anyone has any suggestions please post them. I still haven't had soda. It's been over 4 months. I miss it sometimes but know that I will be better off without it. As I have thought about this whole diet thing, I came to the conclusion that I need to find balance in food. I can't deny myself everything and then when I get to my goal weight eat all the things I have missed. I will just ended up back being overweight. I have to accept that this is a LIFESTYLE change. I can't go back to eating the way I was. Almost every morning I would drop my girls off at school and then go through a drive-thru for breakfast. Then again for lunch. I can't go back to eating that way ever again. Not to say I can never have fast food again b/c I have had it off and on since I started this. I just have to make different choices. I eat grilled chicken instead of fried or a hamburger. I eat a salad or soup instead of fries. I think one of the myths about overweight people is they gorge themselves with food. This maybe true for some of them but for me it has always been my food choices. When I have watched what thin people eat, I haven't noticed that I eat anymore than they do. It is the food I am eating. I choose fast food b/c that is what we ate when I was growing up. This brings me to one of the things I am having the hardest time mentally trying to balance...

Balancing what is good for my kids to eat without feeling guilty...
This is the hardest for me. I want my kids to have a "normal" childhood...as normal as it can be for us. I have this tremendous guilt b/c things in our household are so not the norm. How many other children include a feeding pump in their imaginary play? I want them to have normal foods like other children have. Lauren has food limitations so she will never have some of the things normal kids do. This has been hard on her lately which breaks my heart. I want them to make healthy food choices in life. I don't want them to ever experience being overweight. Sean and I both have struggled with our weight and we don't want that for them. All three of them are within normal weight ranges but I was the same way till I went through puberty. Everytime Kadian asks for 2nds of something I worry. I don't wanna tell her no if she is still hungry. I'm not sure how to balance all of this. They are aware mommy is on a diet and trying to lose weight. I worry also that they will have issues with body image. I don't want them to worry about their weight at such a young age but I also don't want them to be overweight when they get older. I've tried to talk to them about eating healthy instead of saying the word "diet" . I want to make sure I keep things balanced for them. I want them to eat healthy but I also want them to be able to have treats every now and then. I am not sure if this is my emotional attachment to food that is talking though.